I can’t think of a better title, and I’m pretty sure I’ve used this title before LOL, but oh well. I know it’s been a while since I’ve written something on here. I really didn’t intend on leaving for so long, but as you all know (all 10 of you LOL), I never intended on making blogging a regular habit. I just started this blog as a place to vent and just share my thoughts, and the older I get, the less I feel the need to vent (grammar?). I still love blogging/writing, but I’m trying to expand my horizons and get out of this little tiny world in front of the computer screen. Okay, tangent aside, here’s my life update.
I started rotations about 3-4 months ago. This is my last year of pharmacy school which means every 5 weeks, we get to pack up and move to a different site. The packing up is figurative, of course, unless you really are doing a rotation somewhere far away. Speaking of far away rotations, I got the opportunity to do a rotation at the FDA, but I declined last minute. It’s starting to become a decision I kind of regret, but so far all of my rotations and preceptors have been great.
These past 4 months have brought forth a part of my personality that I never knew existed. I never thought I would genuinely enjoy talking to patients and feel confident enough making recommendations to my preceptor and the doctors, but look at me now. I am honestly humbled by the compliments that my patients, preceptors, and doctors give me because prior to starting rotations, I never believed that I would be able to be this confident. I never thought I could talk to patients so easily and hold conversations with multiple people. Look at me now, it’s almost as if the era of socially awkward Komal has come to an end… almost.
A few minutes ago I was going through my old blog posts and realized just how naive and immature I was. I remember 2 years ago obsessing over the idea of marriage and getting engaged. I remember desperately wanting a significant other in my life haha. I remember wanting to marry a doctor haha. So much has changed since then, but so much has remained the same. I’ll leave you to figure out which is which.
Honestly, when I consider where I am now, in all aspects of life, I truly believe that it is the work of Allah. The depressive state that I went through for the past few years is slowly clearing up. Those dark clouds no longer hang over me. Are they gone? No, but I am just content where with everything is going in life, and I have no one to thank, but Allah.
I spent countless nights bawling my eyes over things that I can’t even remember, and I remember I would pray to Allah to just make it all easier for me. I would pray to him and ask him to make my life brighter and happier. “Ask Allah and he will give,” is something my mother would tell me growing up. I can tell you, that up until recent years, I never believed her.
Basically, life has been going well alhamdulillah, and the days I still feel down or upset, I just try to remind myself that it’s all just a test from Allah and move on with a smile on my face. If there’s one thing I learned from the past few months, it’s that a smile makes the biggest difference 🙂