A new year at university has started (which means a whole new year has started in my book, it’s still 2013, but it’s a new year to me). I’m a second year now, wooo. It’s really not as exciting as I’m making it sound. But my woooo statement was meant to be sarcastic, so I guess I’m not even attempting to make it sound exciting. I noticed a little trend that might be starting with me. Every time a new school year starts I go through an existential crisis of sorts. Yes it consists of the whole what am I doing with my life, I will achieve nothing, will this even help, is all this schooling even worth it, etc etc. Last year, my existential crisis was terrible. So terrible in fact that I sorta kinda sunk into depression for a bit. Now my research with mental health has indicated that I might have depression, but it hasn’t actually officially been diagnosed (so I’m a liar for just going around and crying to telling everyone about it). 

This year, I am yet again going through another existential crisis in which the self-loather in me is coming out in full swing. (By the way, if you have a self-loathing alter ego, please just tell it to shut up and sit down or just leave the room). Okay, so yes this may have been spurred by a certain event, but there are so many things I loathe about myself. So today I decided to make a list, well two lists actually. Dear reader, you should also make a list of everything you love about yourself, but also make one about the things you should improve. In order to keep the self-loather at bay, we will not make a list of things you hate about yourself, but rather things that need improvement.

Rules to making said list: Start off with the good and end with the bad. Have some chocolate handy in case the self-loather comes out. Make lists. Eat more chocolate.

Reasons why I’m the best person to walk this planet:

  1. #2kawaii4u
  2. 19 yr old chick who still looks 12
  3. prettiest eyes ever
  4. somewhat attractive facial futures
  5. curvy woman
  6. hilarious, a natural sense of humor
  7. can be super motherly also
  8. super nice to people
  9. always willing to help
  10. smart
  11. well-mannered
  12. care about the people near and dear to me
  13. average height and weight
  14. somewhat decent fashion sense
  15. HIPSTUR GLASSES (okay this isn’t really me me but they define me)
  16. wow i can’t think of anything else
  17. let’s hope the self-loather doesn’t come out next

Reasons why I am not so great:

  1. easily trusts people
  2. gets too excited over things
  3. social skills
  4. social awkwardness
  5. always sleepy
  6. i actually can’t think of anything else
  7. mission keep self-loather at bay complete

Try making lists like these. I’m amazed at how many things were amazing about me.

Okay so I’ll just mention the most important reason for making this post: I always tend to put down myself (like ALL the time), so I decided to try something like this. Something terrible happened to me today and I keep blaming myself, but it wasn’t my fault. So it was necessary to make something like this. I was genuinely surprised that I couldn’t think of too many negative things about me. And that’s the point I want to make. There will be that voice in your head (that’s totally not your conscience) that will always try to put your down and make you feel guilty for something that’s not your fault. What you need to do is find a way to rise above that negative Nelly in your head and prove that you are an amazing person after all. For some people it’s easy to love and praise themselves. For those who can’t do so (like me), try this technique.

BTW (by the way, learn this lingo plz): does the title seem applicable?