cor ad cor loquitur

where heart speaks to heart

The Birth of Insanity — September 24, 2013

The Birth of Insanity

Usually when I think of Insanity, I think of INSANITY as in the workout program. Oh man is that program one of the best workout programs ever. I must be a sadist because I truly enjoy that burn you feel by the end of the workout. Those sore muscles are totally worth it in the end. But that’s not what this post is about.

Recently, I have officially become an adult. I turned 18 a little bit more than a year ago (I am now 19). But I officially feel like an adult. Why? Because I am doing adult things now. (Please get your minds out of the gutter, I mean other things okay okay okay). I have an actual job that pays me. Now I get money in that empty bank account of mines. With the job comes battling school and work. It’s literally impossible.

I’ve been so cranky these past few days. I have stress from work and stress from school and stress from family. (So many stress, I need a clubbanger– BigBang reference the band, not the show) Is this how adult life is? Is this what adult life is all about? Of course right now it’s crazy because I’m balancing school and work (work study doesn’t even count right now). Ugh, life is so difficult.

Am I a sadist though? Because I really enjoy this stress that I get BECAUSE I AM BUSY FOR ONCE. I actually have something to do at all times. Of course this means no time for Kdramas, but I can marathon them all at once eventually.

The one thing I HATE about this new life of mines is the adults that surround it: from professors (a certain Pharmacy professor, I’m looking right at you) to a certain job manager, I’m going crazy. They just don’t seem to understand that I have school. I mean when I applied I was told that since I applied to be a student intern they would be more flexible. Such lies mentioned during that interview, such lies. Obviously, professors won’t be flexible.

And then there’s those future employers. They want to see you do EVERYTHING. They want you to be involved in school, have a job in a pharmacy so that you have experience, good grades, and be an overall well rounded person. Life can be so difficult sometimes. 

Maybe this is just hard for me because I’m new to it. I don’t know, but all I know is that I’m stressed out like crazy nowadays (and sleep deprived, super sleep deprived. coffee everyday 24/7 yo)

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#2kawaii4u — September 15, 2013

#2kawaii4u

Hello, new post finally. I know I’ve been slacking so much. I didn’t realize how much I suck at time management until recently when all of my extra-curriculars decided to take time away from my studying and everything was just a big mess. (So yeah, moral of the story, I just fail at everything and anything. No, I’m just kidding, moral of the story actually is that I fail at time management so I’m kinda screwed) I actually have no idea what I want to write about in this post, so I’m just going to go with the flow.

I hate organic chemistry. Actually it’s not really that bad, my professor is just too smart for us. He starts drawing these structures/molecules (whatever you prefer) without explaining why he’s drawing them. I suppose I need to switch over to becoming a visual learner for just this one class. (I just took a really long break from writing this post to rewrite my orgo notes FOR THE THIRD TIME)

Another class, I’m taking is microbiology. It’s actually an interesting class (Even though I now do not want to touch anything without washing my hand like 5 times afterwards. Actually someone just buy me an autoclave so I can kill all the micro-organisms and actually be germ free). You’d be amazed at how sanitary (rather unsanitary actually, but don’t kill my sarcastic vibe) certain places are. So yeah if you really want to know about micro-organisms, feel free to not ask me because I just cringe every time they are mentioned. Though in all honesty, I do enjoy the class and my professor is such an adorable grandpa. 

There are other classes I’m taking, but they don’t actually matter much.

An interesting thing happened to me last week. I take two trains and one trolley to get to school everyday (Driving would so much easier. Someone plz find me a rich boy who loves me so much that he will buy me a car and pay off my student loans in the process). When I got on the trolley one day, I for some reason decided to ask the trolley driver if the trolley still went to *insert street here*. Why did I even need to ask that? It’s not like I’ve been taking the trolley for every single day (well almost) for the past year of my life. And then it happened. The trolley driver proceeded to tell me that I’m cute. I was rather scared and hyperventilating. (Mind you, the trolley driver was at least 35-40 years old and had a few front teeth missing and overall just gave me a scary vibe. And okay, it doesn’t help that I am super paranoid and have never actually been told I’m cute from someone of the opposite sex. Srsly, only my dad and uncles have called me cute because let’s be honest I really am the most kawaii person in my family).

I got off a few stops early and decided to just walk to my school and the trolley drive wished me good luck in school. Cue the guilt. I felt so guilty for thinking that he had bad intentions (Fine, fine the trolley was super empty too only like 3 people on there). This wouldn’t even be a problem if a boy had called me cute in the past. T.T Whatever I’m still #2cute4u.

But anyway, this incident has kinda increased the size of my head and ego because now I walk around believing that I am actually the cutest person you will ever meet. It’s not a complete lie though. I honestly am cute even if I’m not totally attractive. My voice is cute and my face is just so chubby (Seriously losing 40 pounds had no effect on my face whatsoever). I did need that ego boost though.

Until next time, stay kawaii plz.

The adventures of Google — September 2, 2013

The adventures of Google

Do you ever just feel the need to google your name? Well, I felt the need to do so today, and after about 5 pages of Google, I found a blog by a girl who shares the same name as me. Now normally I would share the blog, but since my first and last name are clearly evident in her blog URL, I’ll pass. Now these feelings probably stem from the fact that I am thuper duper insecure (So naturally I thought why not share)

So before I jump into this post, I just wanted to update you guys on my life. I don’t really deserve any blog followers that I have because I post nothing of quality nor do I post too often (grammar?). To the followers I have: thank you for following my blog, I don’t deserve you at all. Anyway, college/uni has started and since I’m a second year Pharmacy major, reality has punched me in the face. (So as if I needed another excuse) Basically, I won’t really be posting much. I’m gonna try to keep it to a post per week though.

Okay, now back to the blog that I happened to discover. This girl’s blog is amazing. I mean she even incorporates pictures into her posts. Suddenly, my blog felt so inferior to hers. She’s funny, has an awesome blog, and is probably doing more with her life than I am. Why do we feel the need to compare ourselves with others? (Because right now, I am comparing myself to her and not feeling good about myself at all)

There probably so many more Komal *insert last name here*’s out there. Are they all as amazing as this girl? Am I the only Komal *insert last name here* that is not getting much out of life? (In all seriousness though, I do feel like I am getting somewhere in life. I mean my parents aren’t super proud of me for no reason at all, right?)

It’s just amazing how all these people who share the same name are similar only in their name. Their personalities and ambitions vary greatly. Maybe that’s why the ever so popular Shakespearean phrase, “what’s in a name”, conveys so much.

Anyway dear reader, it seems as if I have ran out of things to say.

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.

                                       -Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)