cor ad cor loquitur

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New year, better me — January 4, 2015

New year, better me

I was actually going to title this post “New year, new me,” but then I was like that’s way too cliche, so I changed it up a bit. I am fully aware that we are three days into the new year, but still this post needs to be written (well it’s not necessary, but to me it is). 2014 has been gone for three days, and 2015 is just three days old.

Let’s start off with an overview of how 2014 was for me. Honestly, 2014 was not the best year for me because a lot of major incidents happened that weren’t too great. The year started off with my grandmother passing away. Spring semester of 2014 was absolute crap. Summer was just work, work, work, with a few beach visits. Eid was okay. Ramadan was great (I prayed a lot, but there a few fasts that I had to miss because we just didn’t wake up for sehri and also lady problems). Eid-ul-Adha was terrible because then my aunt passed away, leaving three daughters behind, two of which are still teenagers. November came and I got into an accident the day before Thanksgiving. Family friend’s valima was so fun, though I should’ve danced more because yolo. Dad also had cardiac cath with angioplasty this same month that was preceded by a heart attack the night before (90% artery blockage wtf, as a pharmacy student I was like ohhh learning oppurtunity. But as a daughter, I was internally crying). Got into an accident in December again on the way back home from work (evening shift). By that point, I was so ready for the new year.

(Side note: one thing I’ve noticed is that odd-numbered years are so much better for me, but I’m not really superstitious– or is it number-stitious. 2012, for example, was great for me.)

For 2015, I’ve obviously made some New Year’s resolutions. Some are cliche, others aren’t. I’ll list them and explain as I go along. YAAAAY. (Note: not in any particular order of importance)

  1. Become a better, less toxic person. I’ve spent my whole life envying people and comparing myself to them be it my cousins or a random stranger. I put others down (in private, never publicly) in order to make myself feel better. This needs to stop. I’ll be turning 21 this year, and I want to let go of all of these immature actions. Putting others down doesn’t make me feel better about myself; it just makes me a shitty person. I don’t care if that’s what’s been done to me in the past, but I shouldn’t vent my past frustrations this way. I’m becoming a more friendly and less bitter person this year.
  2. Lose weight and eat healthier. I lost a crapton of weight (45 lbs), but gained like 15 of those back, so yeah I need to get fit. I want more muscle tone, and less fat. Also I want that number on the scale to go down to a more healthy range.
  3. Learn to cook. I’ve been wary of this because I thought that once I learned how to cook, I’d be expected to cook for the rest of my life. But honestly, that’s not the case. It’s something I should know how to do because who knows where I’ll be in the next three years. Plus, my parents are both awesome chefs, so I must strive to be that great. (This is also the only way I can control how healthy my meals are. I know, I’m selfish, but it’s also going to be better for my dad and family.)
  4. Start praying more frequently. Allah had been so good to me, and I don’t do enough for him. I don’t thank him enough and I barely ever pray. Therefore, as gratitude and for my own spiritual well-being, I’m going to start praying.
  5. Be more social. Yeah, I don’t like people in general. I have the worst social anxiety, but I’m becoming confident and comfortable now. I’m going to be more social with people because honestly it just sucks being alone during club meetings (of clubs your friends aren’t a part of).
  6. Reconnect and re-establish those broken relationships. See number 1. One of the reasons I broke off these old relationships was because of my inner child and the bitterness. But I want that to go away. I’m trying to be a positive person, so it’s necessary to start acting mature and re-estalishing those relationships I broke off during my fury.

Very vague explanations for some of them, I know. Also, my sentence structure is totally not on point lately. Maybe I should make learn grammar like a pro (aka my grammar nazi high school self) one of my New Year’s resolutions hhahahaha.

I hope you all have a blessed and wonderful 2015. There are many days left in this year, make sure to make them worth it. Till then, stay classy.